In Jest

It's not all fun
this life in colors
It's not a game
this chortle-filled career

My face aches with the torture
a grin permanently forced
in the presence of others

My self-esteem is withered
as painful pratfalls
and messy mockeries
undermine my identity

My redemption is meager
only your happiness
revealed in smiles
salvages my soul

Yet I beg deities' aide
for the hour when laughter
leaves us both for tears
and my worth is but a sneer.

_____
Copyright 2014 Femme Malheureuse
@ApparatusMag #NaPoMo 2014 Prompt 25
Graphic: The Court Jester (p. 34), illus. by Margaret Ely Webb, c. 1906 (color by author)